Flower girls & Forevers

On this day 28 years ago my older sister and I were flower girls.

I remember Dad asking my sister and I if he could marry our Mom before he proposed. We were sitting in that red granddam waiting for mom to come out of my grandmas house when he asked.

He proposed a few days later and she said yes.

On their wedding day I remember my Mom dancing she was so happy so beautiful. I remember a lot from that day but that was one of the best moments, I can still see it in my mind clear as day.

I also remember we stopped at some pub in the limo (before grandma took us for the night) and I asked if we could have a kiddie cocktail, with the biggest smile they both looked at us and one of them said “Today you can have anything you want”

I was to young then to relieze that I truly did get more than I could have imagined that day.

Tomorrow is fathers day. In a little bit the girls and I are going to lunch with my other Dad. If I am being honest for a few years after Dad (Joe) died I pushed my other Dad (and honestly the world) away, until I realized that was not fair to anyone including myself. I had to let myself live and love again. I had to dig myself out of the grave I put myself in when he died.

I’ve made my way back but not everyone who was there before remains. I excused myself from countless tables. I built my own and I can count on less then my hands the number of people who are invited to the new one I built with trembling hands.

I haven’t shared much about my other Dad. He is bold and direct and he absolutely makes his presence known in any room he walks into. He is determined and I have never seen that man not get his way. Not by manipulation just sheer determination and refusal to back down. He might be an undercover lawyer because his record keeping and preparedness is second to none. He Is blunt to the point of down right being rude, honestly I don’t think he knows he is rude, that Is never his intention. He Is just not one to sugar coat things to make other people comfortable I guess lol I suppose that’s where I might get some of those qualities from. He is disabled…. “It all started on the 50 yard line” and since then he has had well over 30 major surgeries. Despite this fact he works harder and with more grit to get things done then most people I have ever met.

I love them both with all my heart and not a single day goes by that I do not thank the universe for them both. Today I will have lunch with my Father, his tolerance for people-ing is slim to none so we will be finished in less then an hour. I hope he knows that even though my other Dad was my person I am still forever grateful for the man he is and always has been in my life.

What is life without Love? All forms of love. Don’t limit your love just because your heart has a few cuts and bruises. I promise the ones who matter wont mind and the ones who mind don’t matter.

Go let yourself love today.

TLJ: The fresh air filling the house with the windows open as type this.